Today's topic...what do I want to be when I grow up?
I want to be everyone and everything. Really.
I need 10 more credits (two classes) before I get my BS in psychology. I'm going to grad school. I just don't know how, where, or for what. My minor is in neuroscience, but I really don't like doing animal experiments. I would rather work with people. I feel as if I have dissociative identity disorder. In one application, I talk about how I would really fit well into their neuroscience program, at another school I tell them how I've always wanted to study animals, and another, I tell them how much I want to be a part of their counseling program. What I'm really looking for is a program that blends together all of my interests.
I am so afraid of rejection which is almost a guarantee in my field. Only about 10% or less of applicants are accepted and I am NOT getting any younger. It also scares me to start over again in a new place. I would have to find new doctors, a new place to live, new friends....I have had to start over again twice so far in my life and I really don't know if I can live through it again. It is like being reborn and it is more painful than you can imagine.
I want to be a writer. Actually, I am a writer, the question is, how do you become the kind of writer you want to be? I share Dorothy Parker's feeling that writing is like cutting open a vein. It takes so much out of you. I wonder how these writers come out with a new book every few months (it seems). I don't have that kind of stamina.
Did I mention I also want to study anthropology?